Results - 13.01.2012

Categories: Transport & Bands/Pop Groups

It was an absurdly large week - 316 entries and comments at the close of play. The size of this week's Pun-Off is only partially responsible for my tardiness with the results; I haven't been able to write them up because I simply haven't had the two hours spare that it usually takes me. I should also add that I've been drunk a fair bit this weekend and trying to write while intoxicated is like a one-armed cowboy trying to lasso a cat....with spaghetti; it just ain't happening.

As each week passes it's becoming harder and harder to pick a winner - seventeen Puns on my short-short list and only three places to award. It's a proper Noightmurr - as they say in the west country. But, I have endeavoured to deliver as deliver I must. The not so subtle "encouragement" from Punners is growing more vitriolic and hate-filled as time drags on.

So, here we are:

In 3rd place....

Tyre Straights - Katie Everson

It was only a matter of time before Everson placed on the winner's board. This Pun is as simple as it is effective. The no nonsense delivery mirrors the pragmatic approach of Knopfler and co as they rock the shit out of wedding discos. Everson is likely to grow in confidence and I anticipate a mid-winter peak.

Dire Straights -
The Sultan's of Ming

In 2nd Place....Punning all the way from Australia and in the aftermath of four early entries being dismissed as illegal (solo artists) this long time Punner deserves credit for:

Toboggan's and Roses - Adrian Cordiner

This Pun speaks for itself but is better uttered quick and casual in order to draw out the semi-hidden flow. Cordiner has shown persistence and despite a few honourable mentions has not placed before. Generally, I expect a lot from Adrian and hope that the potentially soul crushing dismissals don't knock his trade mark confidence.

And in 1st Place...here he is again with a classic late afternoon entry that just missed out on the highly converted people's champion award:

Frankie rows to Hollywood - Tim Evans

This was a very popular Pun with 12 "Likes" and it comes as no surprise - it really is excellent Punning. I'm beginning to wander whether Evans enters his Puns later because of work or as part of a tactical ploy to gain maximum exposure. It matters not, he's a deserving winner in my eyes. The aforementioned Frankie propelling himself to Los Angeles by boat is a thrilling thought; especially if he was captured and aggressively sodomised by a 10 strong crew of Icelandic fishermen.....accidentally sinks.

Good work as ever from The Stalking Horse.

And so to the glorious announcement of PEOPLE'S CHAMPION....

He was a debutant last week (who I forgot to mention...oops) and this week he has risen to prominence with the following popular Pun:

Black Cabbath - Jonn Dean

Two other Punners threw this one in later in the day and probably thought they were onto a winner - but Dean got it on the board early on. It was popular with 13 "likes" and exhibits Dean's keen eye for simplicity. Never before has changing just one letter effected such dramatic change. Many congratulations to Jonn for this; he's a keen Punner and brings a well rounded skill set to the competition. In fact, I noticed that Jonn and a few of his friends engaged in a small scale, unregulated free-for-all Punning event later that afternoon. Dean obviously had plenty of Punning juice left in the tank. It's probably too early to use the word "prolific" but by this time next month th I may have no choice. Well done Jonn.

Honourable mentions

Simon and Carfunkle - Gavin Grittiths

I've not seen form like this for a long time - all of Griffith's entries were strong this week. Initially rubbish at Puns...now a threat.

Jeep Purple - Laura Dinham

The popularity of this Pun will put end to any accusations of favouritism on my part. It's solid work from a proven punner.

Green Daewoo - Paul Goodman

Brilliant from Goodman. The microwave at my work is made by Daewoo and I think they should stick to making cars. It took me about 7 hours to heat some chicken soup the other day - I might as well of used a bloody hair dryer.

Yacht the Hoople - Justine Grimley

Technically excellent from the frequently strong Grimley. Evidence of a good knowledge base.

Black eyed skis - Edward Slimm

Student Slimm really pushed the envelope outside of the box here - Skis transport people and you can't argue with that.

Wu Tang Pram - Frankie Maloney

This was my favourite Wu Tang based Pun - Wu Tang Prams are due to be on sale in Mothercare from the Spring.

Banana Llama - Melissa Wharton

The lateral thinking from Wharton - but are Llamas used in the same way as Camels? I certainly hope so.

Finally, a big thank you for Chris "Manc-snake" Davies for assisting with moderating yesterday. The sheer volume of Puns proved somewhat overwhelming and without him I would have collapsed on the floor and sobbed.

Official recognition of hurt feelings

My good friend Ben Sutherland has sulked all weekend about having his "MC Hummer" entry dismissed on the grounds that MC Hammer is a solo artist and not a band. Such was his disappointment that he sent a picture of a penis to my phone. I should have made it clearer that solo artists were not permitted but I didn't want to force the issue. This won't assuage Ben's bitter disappointment though - perhaps me publicly declaring my fondness for his MC Hummer effort will.

Debuts

Some big debuts this week and further evidence of the Pun-Off's growth - a big welcome to you all!

Jon Hill, Sarah Ransome, Ashleigh Victoria Hughes, Nancy Leawork, Rosie Melon, Nicolas Wyatt Duke and Richard Reason

It was a massive week and I'm sure there is more growth to come - thanks to most of you for your patience with the results. Sorry again for the lateness...I do my best!

So, watch out for the occasional post this week and I'll see you all in the Punning arena next Friday!