Happy New Year & why the results are late.....

Happy New Year to all Punners, Pun-lovers and supporters of the Advancement of Punning everywhere. I hope you've had a joyous festive time and that you are, like me, very excited about the year to come.

I think it's only fair I apologise for the lateness of the results this time.

I am sorry. 

Sister Mary Clarence of
Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit fame
 fully endorses this apology

However, to put this apology into perspective I think it's best that I share with you why I have been so shamefully tardy. At around 7.15am on New Year's Day I finally noticed that the hosts of the party I was at had been periodically offering me - with less and less subtlety - a hearty dose of Valium. I was just about to take a quick knees-up march through my favourite Ska songs (I was DJi'ng) when I noticed that Mrs. Pun-off was asleep and that my fellow party goers looked frightened and withdrawn - it seems that their hangovers had kicked in.

I finally read between the lines, scooped up the floppy but still elegant Mrs. Pun-Off and darted into the dawn. When I woke up later that day I was consumed with a heavy, disabling sorrow, a marathon-esque fatigue and a suspicion that an oil-soaked sparrow had been forcibly placed deep within my digestive system and was attempting to escape by whatever means possible. It was a dark day.

I'm all better now though - I've established a suitable work station, made a brew and have just this very second commandeered three - count em - THREE Chocolates from Mrs. Pun-Off's box of Terry's All Gold.

The results will be with you by Tea-Time; which is (for the middle class among you) around 5.30pm. Until then....