The Pun-Off results - 06.01.12

Categories - Popular song titles & Clothing (Garments and brands)

Oh my Lordy, it was an absolute monster of a Pun-Off today! A record slapping 293 entries and comments at the close of play. The categories seemed to appeal to the most seasoned Punnist as well as those Punners firmly within the "emerging" bracket. The number of debutants this week was very promising and as a result they will all feature in the next instalment of The Pundamentals: Essays and reflections on Punning.

It has been almost impossible to decide the winners this week, the short-short list alone was 15 puns long. I know there will be some disappointment from those that aren't placed or mentioned and for this I am sorry. Everyone here at Punning House (me) is overwhelmed - in a good way - by the increase in quantity and quality of Puns.

And so to THE RESULTS!!

...In 3RD PLACE it gives me great pleasure to present:

Cravats the way I like it - Jonn Dean

Brilliant effort here from the newcomer; in fact, if the major Cravat manufacturers wanted a slogan for a come-back campaign they'd be hard pushed to find something better. This week I favoured Puns that could be sung with as much ease as their unaltered (some might say inferior) counterparts. Give Jonn's effort a little sing  to yourself and you'll really be able appreciate it's rhythm and syllabic integrity. It also mentions cravats. End of.

Without his Cravat, Clark Gable
is just another shit man

In 2nd Place...I'm in no doubt that this week's 2nd placed Punner will be delighted with his placing.

Tights in white satin - Gavin Griffiths

Griffiths has been hungry for recognition but until today was probably getting somewhat ahead of himself. I think he's probably had a good look in the mirror (a picture of Alan Mitchell stuck next to it) and told himself "Come on Gav...get in the God-damn game". Griffiths scores points here for similarity in the first instance and originality in the second. Can he maintain his form in the currently strong rookie-rich environment.

And in 1st Place with an overwhelmingly brilliant effort that game from nowhere...

Jumperround - Will Halsey

It's a clean Pun, it's a Pun of startling brevity, it's a Pun of almost unrivalled simplicity and it's a Pun that made me snort and shudder like a pig on a speeding moped. The great thing about Halsey's winning effort is that about an hour earlier he appears to have completely misunderstood the rules and threw in a Pun that made absolutely no sense what-so-ever. Then, to make matters worse, about an hour after the Pun-Off had finished he entered another Pun...and it was a repeat!!

How such Punning brilliance game out of such a poor overall performance is beyond me. Halsey is clearly some sort of Punning Savant; a Rain Man-esque figure shuffling around the Pun-Off with a bewildered expression  and a high waist band...until the moment he almost unintentionally mumbles out one of the great Puns of recent times.

It was also well liked with 7 "Likes" - Well done Will. Go back to bed until next week.

And so...to PEOPLE'S CHAMPION...

Now, technically the most "Liked" Pun was one of my efforts - Tie will always Glove Shoe - but I am disqualifying myself on a technicality. I thought of today's categories on Wednesday and came up with this on Wednesday night - I don't think it's fair that I get two days extra thinking time on everyone else. I threw it in because I thought it was funny and I never expected to win with 14 "Likes". I'm still very honoured that it was well liked but it simply wouldn't be fair. After all, Punning is a game of quick wits, not preparation.

So...this week PEOPLE'S CHAMPION is....

Sweet Jeans (are made of fleece, shoe am I to dungaree) - Edmund McCartney

It's big, it's bold, it's brassy. It's typical McCartney. Edmund's ostentatious approach has seen him disqualified in the past and he's bordering on an infringement here by embellishing the song title over into it's lyrics - are made of fleece - yes....shoe am I to Dungaree - no!

However, common sense prevailed and I decided that, on balance, Edmund was being neither provocative or deliberately obtuse. It's a strong effort though and worthy of an award. McCartney's apparent depth of knowledge appears to be both his Strong-arm and his Achilles heal...one day it's going to go very well, or very badly for the East Anglian Punning powerhouse.

Honourable mentions

Sandal in the Wind - Joanna Ferbrache

A debut effort from my eldest sister. She's obviously from an outstanding pedigree but can she maintain her consistency in an ever changing world.

Kilting me softly - Ben McBrown

This was a popular Pun and was one of the few efforts to venture into the cultural specific garment realm. Ben has been a regular Punner and recognition was never far away.

I'm in the snood for Dancing - Alan Mitchell

Not as on form as he usually is and instead of the typical 3-5 potential winning Puns he offered just one this week. The snood was crying out to be used and Mitchell used it first and best.

Your thong - Stephanie Jane Sweenie

Another debut effort from a debutant who's worked her way up through the Academy System (more of this next week). Very strong effort - one to watch.

Fat bell-bottomed girls - Marilyn Stephens

My mum's best effort thus far that certainly reveals plenty about her "Vintage". Bell bottoms and Queen - as 70s as it gets. 

Money's too tight to Men's shoe - Rich Dinham

Dinham dynasty of Punners.

I be - levi can fly - Paul Parry

Using the largely ignored brands motif here we can see that Parry has just managed to squeeze out a coherent Pun. He is mentioned for his effort and bravery.

Bohemian Wrap-sari - Katie Everson

Yet another brilliant debut effort! Everson looks to be equipped with the full range of Punning skills - established Pun-off regulars will no doubt look on in fear.

Sari seems to be the hardest word - Tim Evans

Tim "The Stalking Horse" Evans has established himself as a strong late Punner but this one was thrown in mid-afternoon - it's unlike him. It was excellent and was the best of the Sari based Puns. T'Evans will no doubt be cognisant of the emerging talent sprouting all around.

It's Uni-Qlonly Sock & Parisol (Bow Tie Like it) - Andy Watts

It's Puns like this that give Puns bad name.

Debuts:

The sheer strength and volume of debutants this week means they will be featuring in a The Pundamentals essay next week. Watch out for that one...

Leon Cave, Chris Wain (from last week), Stephanie Jane Sweeny, Rich Dinham, Joanna Ferbrache, Dave Shipley, Katie Everson, Rheymayo Brooks, Warren J. Williams, Elanor Westfold.

A great start to 2012....please share the link with those you feel are Pro-Puns and watch out for The Pundamentals next week.

Have a great weekend Punners and if the winners would like to make a little comment speech on the Facebook link I'm sure everyone would appreciate it.