Results - 08.06.12

Categories: Movies & War/Conflict/Armed forces

I came very close to joining the army. When I was a youth my dad regaled me with so many interesting and funny stories about his time as a 3rd Carabinier in the 1960's that I presumed it would be a proper laugh the whole time. He was chased down a Berlin street by a man in gimp suit brandishing a large rubber penis and a tray of feces, he caught one of his mates wanking into the turret of a tank and also found a cannon shell up a camel's arse that was filled with heroin. The fact that many of the tales had quite an obvious sexual theme did not deter me and my interest in the armed forces and it's various utilities has never really gone away - hence this week's category. This week was an great opportunity for a number of Punners to showcase the depth of their knowledge base and it produced one of my favourite week's of Punning.

In 3rd Place...good tank knowledge is like being able to read. Useful.

Kung Fu Panzer - Martin Hall

It is truly one of the most iconic of all the killing machines: Panzer tanks, Motorcycles, Ivan Drago - in that order. Panzer is married perfectly here with Jack Black's East Asian bear caper. I've not seen it. I liked this immediately and was delighted that someone had utilised the pleasingly flexible "Panzer" so well. Martin - look in the mirror, flick up two pointed fingers and whisper to yourself: "Winner". Do it now.

In 2nd place...it was the very first Pun of the day and almost snuck People's Champion:

Back to Falluja - Arron Pittman

I believe that "Back to Falluja has formed part of a winning Pun before. Either I'm subconsciously biased towards 80's sci-fi-romantic-adventure-comedies or it has some innate linguistic qualities that lend itself to being Punned upon. Pittman threw this excellent entry in early on and set the bar very high for the rest of the day. Arron - stand up, extend your arms up and out, offer your palms to the heavens, close your eyes and whisper: "It was my time!" Do it now.

And in 1st Place...a truly wonderful Pun that combines a harrowing humanitarian emergency....with Darfur...Oiiiii-oiiii!!!

Darfur weddings and a Funeral - Jonathan Foster

The confident melding of wit and technical excellence is what sets this Pun apart as this week's winner. The syllabic integrity isn't perfect but the subsequent content more than compensates for this. I wonder which of the categories came first for Foster? It's a question I often ask - how did this Pun come about in the composers mind? But, I think it's best not to know; it would be like asking Derren Brown how he hides his bald patch so well the whole time. Jonathan, you are the winner. Sit quietly all day with a smile on your face. When a colleague asks why you're so happy....PUNCH them in the throat as hard as you and scream at their crumpled body: "Because I won the Pun-off you C*nt!!!". Then flee.

And so to PEOPLE'S CHAMPION...like the proverbial workman's safety vest she's been a highly visible member of the Pun-off since her recent debut. This is thanks to her consistently robust efforts and general community spirit, all hail:

A Fish called Rwanda - Sophie Galpin

With 15 "Likes" Sophie takes her first People's Champion prize thanks to this excellent effort. It steadily rose to prominence and scooped the prize well before full time. I think that Micheal Palin ought to make a travel documentary called "A Fish called Rwanda". He, Jamie Lee-Curtis and John Cleese could travel around in a converted Bedford Rascal meeting locals and generally larking about. Note to Self: Contact BBC Four.



"Dogs Palin-comparison
to cats"



Honourable mentions

As I mentioned, it was a very strong week of Punning - plenty of honourable mentions this week:

Shot to defect when you're defecting - Nixy P Nixypedia

Big work from last week's winner. I can't wait to see this film - I imagine my experience of having a pregnant partner will be exactly the same as Chris Rock's.

Chronicles of nam-nia; the batta-lion, the snitch and the war-drone- Laura Gibson

High concept behaviour from Gibson. Largely tenuous but admirably brave.

The Lion, the Witch and the Spanish Civil Wardrobe - Dave High

Liked this one straight away - bulky but clever; it's the Stephen Fry of Puns.

You've got Chain-mail - Jennifer Farmer

Mentioning stuff from medieval warfare - immediate credit. I sincerely hope Jennifer's middle name is "Llama".

Withnail-bomb and I - Andy Burston

You can't argue with a Pun based on a Nail bomb. It's stark Punning, but it's good.

Carry on Mein Kampfing - Lucy Fortescue

Fortescue Puns brilliantly on the Roald Dahl classic.

My left, right, left, right, left, right foot - Tim "The Stalking Horse" Evans

This Pun is so clever it's quite alarming. I can picture Tim and his wife Hannah patting themselves on the back when they came up with this one.

Debuts

The Pun-Off is getting so big now that I'm worried I'm going to miss people! Please forgive me if I do...

Lynsey Dickenson - I failed to mention Lynsey's debut last week and she quite rightly got in touch and prompted me. It's rare that I miss a debut but when I do it hurts. It hurts me, it hurts you, it hurts Punning. I'm sorry. 

Thank you all so much for another week of succulent Puns. With only two more Pun-Offs left before Punning House relocates I'll be putting out an official statement about the future of The Pun-Off. Don't worry, I don't intend for it to stop - it's just that there may be some logistical implications based on moving to the hills, finding a house, finding a job, raising a baby and so on. I will persevere to endeavour to try everything I can to keep us in weekly Puns. Until Friday my dears.