Results - 01.06.12

Catergories: The Human body & Popular Song titles

The first day of June delivered yet another fine Pun-Off. Seven or so months on from its inception I can see how far we've all come since the Pre-Bissian days of punning infancy. I now sense confidence sprouting from the ears of previously reticent Punners - chests puffed out, chins pointing towards the spring sun so acutely that a sparrow might feasibly set about constructing an acceptable nest. The vigour about which you all address your Punning needs is quite startling and your gratitude towards the efforts of Punning House is heart warming. Punning House seems to have become an "institution" apparently perceived as being authoritative and organised when in reality it has all the composure and resilience of a fat man at a buffet. The fact that I have an  inter-generationally entrenched addiction to buffet type scenarios is merely a coincidence. Put it this way - my problem with over eating at buffets had gotten so bad that I now limit myself by shunning the plates provided and instead only take and consume what I can reasonably fit into an empty half-pint glass. I'll admit that I do feel uncomfortable walking around functions holding a glass containing a lonely, single chicken leg but this is entirely preferable to the alternative. Having a friend or loved one gently massage me back to life from the brink of a sweaty meat coma is an indignity too sharp and cutting to endure in these crucial middle years.

Buffets and digression; two flaws that I am valiantly attempting to address. With progress in mind I ought to swiftly recognise this weeks Punning elite before I publicly lament my inability to accurately fold a piece of paper in half.

In 3rd Place...it's a welcome return to form for a Punner that was once virtually unstoppable:

Scrotal eclipse of the fart - Tim "The stalking Horse" Evans

This is a surprisingly accurate Pun considering it's so effortlessly puerile. I did attempt to avoid picturing how a "Scrotal eclipse of the fart" might translate into a real-world situation but I have failed and am now left with some deeply upsetting imagery. Evans is one of the greats; a respected talisman of The Pun-Off and I'm delighted that he's back in the game.

In 2nd Place...It's initial accuracy conceals a pithy (and pissy) heart:

When urine love with a beautiful Woman - John Talbot

I'll admit to being rather fond of this song and I imagine this has played a part in the resulting fondness I feel for John's excellent entry. It is a perfectly accurate Pun - in fact, it is entirely indistinguishable from the original. Occasionally, such close similarity can undermine a Pun's impact but that is not the case here. Yes, Talbot has composed and delivered a highly accurate Pun but the marriage of the categories is what sets this entry apart. Excellent work John.

And in 1st Place....

Socket man (I think it's going Tibia long, long time) - Nixy P Nixipedia

Very occasionally a Pun will be so perfect that I just don't laugh. This is not because the Pun isn't funny, oh no, but because the technical quality is too good to trivialise with such a fleeting and ephemeral emotion as happiness. When I first read this effort from NPN I stopped what I was doing (chopping up basil) and solemnly whispered to myself "Shit....that's bloody good". "What?" Mrs. Pun-Off enquired whilst grating some cheese. "Oh, well...it's this Pun. It's just so, so good!" I replied (by now checking on the progress of my tomato sauce). As we ate our home made pizza later that evening we both agreed that this Pun was technically perfect, imaginative and indicative of a talented and generous Punning mind. Congratulations NPN.

"Unexpected items in the bagging area?"
"How dare you?!!"

And so to the prize of all prizes - People's Champion!

How do eye-lid without you - James Mochan

Mochan is enjoying a spectacular run of form of late. Early in James' career I sensed that he snatched at Puns too readily and probably fell short of his own high standards. However, six months or so into his Punning journey I'm confident he's now producing work that he can be consistently proud of. This excellent entry took the People's Champion prize with a very respectable 17 "Likes". Well done to you James - hug a loved one and whisper in their ear - "I did it Elizabeth....I bloody well did it." Don't worry if their name isn't Elizabeth - this is your moment.

Honourable Mentions

There were so , so, so many wonderful Puns this week that I've had to keep this section fairly modest and mention just a few.... 

Tit's the bell-end of the world arse we nose it (Hand eye feel Thigh-ne) - Dave High

I'm counting a 7-Pun entry here from Dave. He was guilty of over-reaching last week but this takes the Chocolate Hob-Nob; it really is a joy to behold. Someone now needs to unleash a Octo-Pun to beat Dave's monolithic effort.

Comfortably Thumb - Mark Watts 

Watts finds form delightfully with this simple, clever entry.

Knees, Knees, Knees let me get what I want - Scoot Just Scoot

Wonderful stuff from SJS.

Disco Toothousand - Thomas Adams

Accurate Punnery from Adams; he's inconsistent in form but I sense that he's now finding a rhythm.

Debuts

I believe that the following Punner were debutants this week - forgive me if I'm not right  - it's getting harder and harder to keep track of you all. I don't love you any less though...

Lucy Fortescue - "Let's get ready to Thumble" is an excellent example of confident debut Punning. A good start.

Christa Norman - "Lats Dance" - good knowledge of anatomy from Norman.

I think that's it - speak up if I've neglected you! Sorry, it's purely an administrative oversight...coz I is a wally.

Thank you all once again for another magical week of Puns; I look forward to us meeting again on Friday. Until then....