Categories: Animals & Common Phrases/Slogans/Famous quotations
I once again find myself on a train decompressing from not only my sister’s splendid wedding but also from Friday’s majestic Punning display. I’ve spent much of my time this weekend in my hometown. Rhyl – a former jewel in Wales’ tourism crown is not the place it once was. This is a realisation (and cliche) so widespread that the mere mention of its former glory brings the locals out in severe and profound bouts of disappointed sighing. But, despite the various deadening social problems and remarkable ease with which one can acquire heroin I find little reason to be scathing about a place whose name lends itself so readily to Puns. I thought that wearing my “Keeping it Rhyl” T-shirt might attract knowing winks of solidarity and reverence as I strolled - chest out - down the high street. Instead, the townsfolk simply shot at me confused and disappointed squints. Then I had a thought: perhaps the reason I wasn’t being carried around on people’s shoulders and referred to as “Bloody hilarious” was because those people were not from Rhyl at all. Perhaps they were some of the thousands of people that still go there on holiday every year. Having said that, there is actually quite an easy and accurate way of telling the locals and the tourists apart. The tourists have a look of perpetual emotional turmoil - as if someone has just burst into their living room and farted on their nan's startled face. I don’t know exactly what brings this pained expression about, perhaps they just don’t like Puns.
Thankfully, many of Friday’s Puns had likability in abundance – witty, well researched and accurate. Mrs. Pun-off assisted me ably this week in deciding on the top three – offering an astute perspective on the Puns that caught her discerning eye.
In 3rd Place...linguistically balanced work from a renowned wordsmith:
Owl be back - Sam Palmer
The brevity of Palmer’s Pun is a key strength but the limited alteration needed when uttering it is the decisive quality. My advice to any young or developing Punner out there is to take a leaf of Palmer’s Book (now available in Paperback) and think as carefully about flow as you do about hilarity. Good work Sam; a typically strong technical performance with the right about of depth and humour.
In 2nd Place...he’s been on the winner board a fair few times and he’s maintaining his reputation with this marvellous effort:
I'm going to make you an otter you can't refuse - Jonn Dean
I cannot conceive a situation where I might be inclined to refuse an otter. However, I intend for my life to be a long one and to eventually navigate a transaction as perverse and challenging as the one Jonn’s Pun conjures. It’s another Pun par excellence from Dean, who maintains his position as one of the Pun-Off’s leading thinkers.
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| This is the Banker from 'Deal or No Deal?' |
And in 1st Place....it’s the punning equivalent of a goal line tap-in:
Beaver sigh of relief - Martin Hall
Most of the work is done here by the inclusion of the word ‘Beaver’, and not just because of the obvious pubic connotation but because the word is funny itself. Perhaps it isn’t, perhaps I’m attempting to intellectualise my puerility in the face of impending adulthood. Whatever the case; it’s a text book Pun that hits all the technical Pun balls out of the park <smirk....balls!>. Strong work from Hall; I hope a short but intense dance of victory takes place.
And so to People's Champion!!
It’s only his second competitive Punning performance but the wild, young bohemian is already making a name for himself:
Gentlemen, start your Penguins - Henry Morris
With an extremely respectable 24 “Likes” Henry Morris is setting a high standard not only for himself but for the numerous other Punners in the Under 21 weight-class. Can anyone remember a Pun getting more than 24 likes?
It’s not a water tight Pun – that’s for sure – it doesn’t have the technical merit seen on the winners board. But, what it does have is widespread appeal and faultless silliness. Congratulations Henry, you should be very proud of your performance.
Honourable Mentions
Queer as a nine bob Stoat - Zoe Wood
Typically strong work from Wood as well as highlighting that stoat trade is very much a buyer’s market.
Here's looking at you squid - Chris Wain
I think a squid would appreciate being told if you were observing it. Signage in aquarium surely must follow.
You get out of life what you Puffin - Alan Mitchell
Mitchell returns to form.
Don't mention the Portuguese Man O' War - Neil Buchannan
High concept and weighty. Typical Buche.
A Mars a day elks ewe work, rest and Platypus - Dave High
It was going so well for our David! It's a classic case of over reaching - almost panicking in the face of a potential (and very rare) triple-Pun. It could have been a winner without the Platypus. Lessons.
Favourite Star Wars Puns
That's no baboon; it's a space station - Andy Watts
Disguising The Death Star as a primate might have yielded better results for The Empire.
Use the horse Luke - Philip Ashman
This Sage advice from Obi Wan was edited out.
Debuts
Scoot Just Scoot - I was particularly fond of "Gunard or go home". The kind of debut performance we see from future winners.
Caitlin Crabtree-Kelly - Just the one entry from Caitlin and sadly it was a repeat. However, the entry she repeated was "Owl be back" which as you know was a winner - a indication of her skills no doubt.
John Talbot – Punning seems to be important to him and I’m expecting progressive and well rounded performances going forward.
Many thanks to everyone who played, “Liked” and observed – we seem to be having a good run of Pun-Off recently. Long may it continue!!
