Bissed Off! By Adam Hallows

I have no problem with rules. I think they’re good. We need them.

That’s why Steve’s introduction of the Biss Clause - encouraging Pun-Off participation by limiting more prolific punners and discouraging frivolous punning, was a good thing.

But when you’ve submitted your fifth and final allotted pun of the afternoon, and then realise you’ve just come up with a far better one, it don’t half Biss you off.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It not only reinforces the spontaneous nature of this social phenomenon, but also the soupçon of pride, which if handled correctly can provide a compelling degree of competition and originality.

As a mere novice to this world, I can but only guess at the level of frustration felt by those who regularly find themselves exclaiming eureka! hours or days later, and imagine how they would have graciously accepted Steve’s endorsement of their perfect punnery.

But it seems to me that the frustration of failing to engage your brain quick enough to claim first prize is essential part of the experience if you are to truly understand the essence of competitive punning.

Because, by limiting participants by genre, time and submissions, it can bring out the best in people in ways they never thought possible, and creates new and exciting linguistic possibilities that quite literally didn’t exist before.

I was ‘Bissed off’ when thinking of superior puns later on, but I resolved that next time I would try harder to do justice to the competition, give the big hitters a run for their money and who knows, maybe even stumble upon a winner?