It will probably not surprise you
that I am writing this beneath the weight of considerable guilt. If it’s of any
consolation, I’m not impressed with my tardiness either and have found myself
trying to settle on a suitable, believable excuse from the shortlist I
developed last week while stirring risotto. So, please pick one you’re happy
with and we can all get on with our lives:
1. I began and ended a tumultuous love
affair with Danny McNamara - lead singer of 90’s rock band Embrace.
2. I founded a clothing company with Noel Edmunds called ‘Cotton Edmunds’.
3. I was
appointed chairman of the Parliamentary Select Committee for Security and
Intelligence.
4. Hepatitis
So, I simply can’t delay and longer – you’ve not come here to dilly-dally.
In 3rd place:
Loft Tinselation (23
likes) – Chimpo Mcr
He’s a robust unit prone
to sowing delicate, almost fragrant puns. Here, Chimpo offers an inspired
juxtaposition between the desolate, cobwebbed loft and the optimistic sparkle
of freshly laid tinsel. Very much a ‘Punner of the people’ Chimpo represents
much that is good about Punning in his sensitive, un-showy approach. He always shows
courage and foresight throughout his campaigns and is not afraid to express his
emotions in a world full of callous cynics.
In 2nd Place:
The Queen’s Bleach (24
likes) – Graeme Smith
Familiar to all, revered
by many and most probably envied by a few, Smith is very much a punner’s punner.
He’s renowned for his explosive pace off the mark and – like his entry here – often
unleashes his offerings early and in a manner bordering on confrontational, careful
never to cross the line into aggressive. He’s like the big dog that sniffs the
little dogs bum – he knows he’s dominant but it’s customary and therefore
accepted graciously by the sniffee. A pun that conjures in the mind any sort of feasible
reality is destined for recognition here.
And in 1st
place…
Duvet know it’s Christmas time – John Talbot (33 likes)
Talbot is victorious! Praise him! Seamlessness of phrasing is
a speciality that Talbot has pioneered over the years, and his entry here shows
that even the most complex phase can be coerced and ultimately upgraded into a
pun. Talbot takes the crown for the year and will no doubt carry the mantle
with distinction until December. He’s a fine ambassador for Puns and I’m delighted
to crown such a worthy winner.
We had strong puns throughout the day with entries from legends of the game, some gifted amateur and a sprinkling of 'start-up' punners. All welcome of course. Some people's form has clearly dipped in light of the extended and enforced sabbatical - but, some and you know who you are) simply haven't lost it. Punning is a momentum game - those that Pun in every day life can walk into a competitive environment without breaking their stride. Some of you benefit from regular formal opportunities, but this ultimately leads to wavering form. If there's one lesson to take from this year's competition it's that if you want to be next year's John Talbo you need to bring puns into everyday life - everyday, and in everyway. Crack on.
We had strong puns throughout the day with entries from legends of the game, some gifted amateur and a sprinkling of 'start-up' punners. All welcome of course. Some people's form has clearly dipped in light of the extended and enforced sabbatical - but, some and you know who you are) simply haven't lost it. Punning is a momentum game - those that Pun in every day life can walk into a competitive environment without breaking their stride. Some of you benefit from regular formal opportunities, but this ultimately leads to wavering form. If there's one lesson to take from this year's competition it's that if you want to be next year's John Talbo you need to bring puns into everyday life - everyday, and in everyway. Crack on.
